Dark and Fine: Epilogue
by Lorien of Gondor
Summary: A story of the tall, bearded man and the petite, compassionate Betazoid, in a completely different universe. Part three. A special thanks to C Ortlieb you know why.
1. Author's Note

**Dark and Fine: Epilogue**

**Disclaimer: **All belongs to Paramount. Except for Andy. snuggles Andy I love Andy! I dunno why, he's kinda grown on me. Just a weird thing.

**Author's Note: **Someone asked me what prompted me to write about Deanna and Will in this way. To tell the truth, when I saw TNG when I was in middle school, there were a lot of, lets say, grown up things that bothered me. Now that I can do it properly, I kinda wanted to change it, make it "cooler," so to speak. But there are little things that I shouldn't have done, like I shouldn't have killed off Andy, but then again, it makes for a nice tear-jerking chapter, doesn't it:)

A special thanks to C Ortlieb, who made me finish this. I would've ditched it entirely otherwise.

**Setting: **Pretty much right where we left off. Andy died, Will and Deanna aren't really getting along, a month or so has passed, Will has been posted onto the Enterprise, and the two have to deal with it.


	2. Nightbird

**I**

**Nightbird**

"_And I cause nothing but trouble, I'll understand if you can't talk to me again...**"x**_

"Did you even know that he played?"

Deanna shrugged. "No idea."

Amidst of the drinkers and thinkers of Ten-Forward, Deanna and the rest of the senior crew watched (and listened) as Will blew his heart out onto a golden trombone. The piece ended as quickly as Deanna had arrived; a patient had broken into tears (grief therapy) and so, being the good counselor that she was, Deanna stayed with her until her cheeks were dry and her spirits were high.

"Any requests?"

None. No one knew Will well enough to request anything, and most people had only _just _heard about the Enterprise's first officer entertaining the crew as if he were only the bartender.

He chose a piece himself.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Nightbird."

_Nightbird? _Hadn't Andy mentioned something about this to Deanna?

"_As a writer, he excels at everything he tries. Just give him a new concept and he'll master in within an hour. But as a musician, he needs practice. Especially with this one song, called Nig-"_

Yep. That was it.

But it wasn't long until Will hit a sour note.

And the night ended.

"Second thoughts, Deanna?"

The ladies were at the bar, Deanna twirling her iced Shirley Temple (the captain had recommended it), and the subject had suddenly turned from drinks to Will and Deanna's relationship.

If that's what you called it.

"More like second chances," she answered. She hadn't given much thought to it lately, the patients were streaming in, and suddenly Deanna realized she needed to do a psychological evaluation for the crew of the Enterprise, so in between reading, doing research with past counselors, and her usual bombardment of patients, Deanna had no time to even breathe.

But tonight was different, because Beverly had simply insisted.

She was good at that. And Deanna suddenly realized she didn't know what she would do without the redhead. They had gotten closer when Deanna broke down one day, remembering Andy, Will, and the time they had spent together.

Would he still-

Oh no. He was coming toward them.

Breathe Deanna. If a certain member of the fifth house could see you now...

_Deanna dear, why don't you marry..._

Ugh.

He gave a gentle smile. "Hi ladies, how are we doing tonight?"

_Beverly, please **do not**__leave me with him... _"We're fine," the Doctor answered. "That was quite a performance up there, Will. My son even liked it."

"Your son? Wesley, right?" His smile faded as Deanna continued to twirl away.

Guinan approached, eyeing Deanna. The Betazoid smiled as Will ordered a synthehol, and Beverly jabbered away.

"_And when we meet; Which I'm sure we will; I understand; We'll be there still; I'll let it pass; And hold my tongue; And you will think; That I've moved on...**"xi**_

"Beverly," Deanna whispered, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Nodding a polite goodbye to Will, Deanna left for her quarters.

"I'm sorry," Beverly said to a despairing Will, eyeing the counselor as she left. "But you know where she'll be if you need her."

He only watched as the doors closed behind her.


	3. Counsel

**II**

**Counsel**

"Computer, verbalize my entire schedule for today, in chronological order, with whatever notes I have."

0800 Carol Bylean; 0900 Bill Ziegler: Grief Therapy; 1000 Data: inquired of small talk; 1100 Riley Kane; 1400 Charlotte Whitney; 1500 Cole Ashley; 1600 William T. Riker; Gri-

What? "Computer, stop. repeat previous appointment."

1600 William T. Riker; Grief Therapy.

She used one of his words. "Fuck."

Unknown command.

1557.

Her last appointment had left over ten minutes ago, and it had been rather simple. Nothing to fret about, just some lady troubles. Deanna made some quick notes in the officer's psychological profile, did some reading on Lieutenant Commander LaForge (for the psych evals), saw that it was almost time, and put everything away.

Sitting, she found that she couldn't keep herself occupied. Was he coming or not? She stood, pacing. Of course she knew why he was seeing her; Andy had been a son to him, and if the fates had allowed it, he could've been _his_ son.

What if they had gotten married? Hopefully their first child would be a boy, naming him Andrew would be suitable. And, it would fit into Deanna's wish to name her first son after her father. His middle name could be Ian. Andrew Ian Troi. Or Riker. Whatever fit.

Her door chime rang and Deanna was jolted from her daydream.

Suddenly, her nerves were a mess. Did she look alright? She looked fine! Good. Hey, calm down! Calm down, Deanna. Sit! Go sit down! Pretend you were reading something! Yeah! Sit. Pick up the PADD! Alright. Everything set? Yes. Okay.

"Come in."

Beverly. Okay. Breathe. A quick glance to the chrono on her console confirmed that it was 1559. One more minute.

"Hey, I wanted to ask if you were free for dinner tonight. Wesley wanted to come too."

Deanna smiled. "Maybe tomorrow? I have psych evaluations to administer next week and some prep work to do."

"Really?"

"Really."

"You're not going to tell me anything else, are you?"

"Nope."

"You're evil."

"I know."

2027.

Her last appointment ended in what seemed ages ago, and when Deanna finished the last of what she had planned for the day, her hopes of seeing Will had vanished with each star the Enterprise passed.

So she hadn't expected that he would walk in when she was about to leave for the day.

He looked tired. Beaten, almost.

"I'm sorry, Dea, there was a skirmish with-"

"Dea?"

"Sorry. Deanna."

"No, I like it."

"Oh. Okay. Were you about to leave?"

She nodded. "We should meet, though. Starfleet regulation, you know."

"Alright."

"So, how are you doing?"

"Don't ask that."

"Ask what? How are you doing? It's a legitimate question."

"Yeah, but in your position as a psychologist, it sounds more like I'm some menial patient who can't take care of himself."

"You know that that's not what I think of you."

"What _do_ you think of me?"

"You're a difficult patient, as you have always been."

"I'm starting on a new book, you know."

"Really? What's it going it be about?"

"At the moment, I have an idea, but its always hard to tell. I'm in my very first early drafts, so its expected that I'll change my mind a lot."

"Oh."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"You should be asking me, but I wanted to know."

"Okay."

"Do you miss him?"

"I do."

"You don't seem like it."

"I deal with it. Working helps, you know."

"I know. That's why Dad recommended active duty. Hey, is that why you've been so busy?"

"No, the crew are just due for psych eval's."

"Oh."

"Do _you_ miss him?"

"More than ever."

"Why?"

"Well, you would think that a change of scenery would help."

"But?"

"But it doesn't. Everything still reminds me of him. Yesterday I nearly called the house thinking I had to check up on him."

She could feel his sadness brewing to the surface.

"Dad tries to help, but at the end of the day, I realized I had to come to you."

"And you have, which is a big step."

"I miss him, Deanna. More than you think. The idea of living without him," He put his face in his hands, and then looked up at her. "That house, is coated with him. His memories, his childhood, that he spent with me!"

"You're a good father, Will, and at the end of the day, he was happy. He died, happy and satisfied, loved by you-"

"And you."

Really? Did she love Andy? Deanna had to cope as much as Will did, but was it because she loved him?

Well then why was she grieving over him! Of course she loved Andy! Andy was...

...Andy was Will's son. And Deanna loved Will. They were nearly a family, one which Deanna had dreamed about since she was seven. Suddenly she remembered Andy was gone, and she found herself gone too, into the depths of sadness which surrounded her first week back to work on the Enterprise.

"Deanna?"

"That should be it for today, Will," she said, voice cracking. "I'll see you next week? Same day, same time."

Disappointed but not wanting to push her tears to the surface, Will agreed, and left.


	4. Chocolate

**III**

**Chocolate**

_Paraphrasing Terran philosopher-humorist Will Rogers, she says "she never met a chocolate she didn't like" — unless it might be the replicated variety;"xii_

"Beverly. Where's Deanna?"

"I don't know. What time is it?"

"1325."

"She's not in her office?"

"No."

"Quarters?"

"Nope, I checked before lunch, I wanted to talk to her."

The redhead's eyebrows quirked, but she continued her work. "Ten Forward? She usually likes to take in a cup of hot chocolate during this time if her patient load isn't too heavy."

"Oh? Okay. Thanks Beverly."

"You're welcome," the doctor said in a singsong voice.

"Are you avoiding me?"

Will's inquiry cracked the silent atmosphere in Ten-Forward. Most officers were on duty, and most children were at school. Only a few straggling waiters and bartenders occupied the crew's lounge. Deanna didn't know why he wasn't on duty either, but she didn't really care, at this point. The time she usually counted on to sort through her thoughts had sacrificed itself to William Riker.

Deanna shrugged –an action her mother would have greatly disapproved of. "I've been working." She turned to look at him. "And there's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time alone, is there?"

Defensively, Riker backed down. "No, sorry. It just occurred to me that you've been taking the night shift everyday for the past couple of days since our last session."

She looked at him with a hint of ridiculousness. "I'm not avoiding you," she reiterated.

"Can we talk?"

"Actually-"

Will wanted to throw something. "You need to work. I understand."

Deanna glared at him. "No, you don't. You think that I'm still keen on avoiding you."

"So you _have_ been avoiding me!"

Troi nearly screamed. "No, I haven't!"

But Will Riker kept his cool, which was rather uncharacteristic for him. "Yes, you have. You know why? I think you're tired of having to face the reality of our relationship, the complications and the fortifications that you've managed to build, and the people who have made an impact on both of us. I think you're tired of being alone, Deanna. You're tired of having to face the harsh realities of a life half-lived just because you have no one to live it with. You're so used to being alone that you're scared of anything that even hints at the otherwise."

Deanna stood up, uttered no less than two words of "Goodbye" and "Will", and left.

Against his better judgment, Will called out, "You forgot your chocolate!"

A week later, Deanna was in Ten-Forward again. Ten minutes later, Will arrived, smiling, and ready for a new start. What he received was more than he expected.

She told him about Imzadi, about its history in her family, and about its connotations and, she talked about whether or not he felt that they were suitable for the term. He, in turn, mentioned Andy, and life and death and love and hate.

And then Deanna did the most surprising thing.

"I'd like to be friends, Will."

His eyebrows jump. "What?"

She gave him a small grin, not wanting them to argue. Again. "You heard me."

"But, why?"

She stated the obvious and the well rehearsed. "Because we work together."

But Will only scoffed. "That's bullshit, Deanna. You can't just walk in here, tell me that you love me, and then say that you'd rather be friends."

"I think I just did, William."

"Why?"

"Because it would be hard to maintain a relationship on the USS Enterprise."

"You're not thinking straight."

"I think I'm thinking more clearly than I ever have!"

"No! You're thinking without feeling! How convenient for you, the mighty Betazoid!"

"That's not fair."

"No, Deanna. What's not fair is your selfish choice to abandon what we have. Who really cares if we work together? Beverly and the Captain don't seem to mind that fact, and he's the captain!"

"We're different, Will."

"Why? Because of our history? Because you were the doctor and I was the patient? Because of Andy? What?"

"I love you, Will. But things change. Our circumstances change. Our realities change."

"Deanna . . . "

"You might say that my reality has never changed. That yours has, and you see it with me."

"But?"

"I don't."

"So you'd rather be friends."

"Would that be alright?"

Will looked at her, swallowing the lump forming in his throat, and drying the tears that were never going to spill in front of her.

"Yes, I guess that that would."

Because he would rather have her as a friend than not have her at all.


	5. Hybrid Identity

**IV**

**Hybrid Identity**

"_I've become so numb, I can feel you there, I've become so tired, so much more aware, I've becoming this, all I want to do, is be more like me and be less like you."xiii_

You've never really liked to embrace your humanoid side, dear.

Deanna looked at the woman in front of her. Her mother was kind, but sometimes enough was enough.

"Mother, I rely on my Betazoid heritage for my job."

Yes, I know. But has it ever occurred to you _how_ other, humanoid counselors may have accomplished such a feat _before_ Starfleet was ever conceived?

Troi looked at her mother in surprise.

I know my history, you know, she added, with a pointed look.

"I know. Sorry."

Honestly, little one. What spurred this?

Someone suddenly interrupted the picture.

Kestra, dear, really. I wish you wouldn't do that. You nearly broke the damn thing.

Oh stop it. You know I didn't mean to. The blonde shot a careful look to Deanna. I'm just excited to talk to my little sister!

Yes, yes. Whatever. Deanna, I trust that your sister can help you with your problem?

She nodded. "Thank you anyways."

You're welcome dear. Ow! Kestra, stop!

Hello, little sister! How's everything?

"Did you hear what I was telling mother?"

As clear as day. And she has a point, you know. Kestra quickly changed the subject. How's William?

"Kestra!"

Oh come on! You haven't called in nearly half a year, and the first time that you do, all you can talk about is our heritage, which I would expect, should be pretty clear to you now.

"It is."

So what's the problem?

"Kestra, we're so used to living on our own. I applied to University of Betazed, and attended alone. You married Noah, against Mother's warnings. I was accepted to Starfleet Academy, and began attending classes, alone. You had children. I've always thought of myself as the independent one in the family, but I think I've reached that point where I've been presented with an opportunity to change it. I was never scared of it, but now that I can do something to change it, I'm more frightened than I have ever been."

Deanna, if Daddy were alive, do you think you would feel the same way?

"No."

Why not?

"Because he would've been there, to help me and guide me through Starfleet."

But he wasn't, Deanna. And you made it. Mother and I have always imagined that he would be proud of what you've accomplished. But I think he would be disappointed to know that you would rather embrace Mother's Betazoid ancestry than his human one.

"Well, mother raised us on her own."

She had help. Betazoid help, I might add. I don't deny that we've grown to depend on it, but I think we need to make an effort to take ourselves away from it and think with what Daddy has given us.


End file.
